But where does impatience come from and what does it cause?

Different causes can explain the emergence of impatience. Firstly, in the case of a close caregiver, they find themselves having a low degree of control over their loved one's health. Indeed, the illness can bring a great deal of helplessness experienced by loved ones. When the need for some control is unmet, the caregiver may experience impatience, which reflects the unmet need for control. The expectations created by the caregiver can be very legitimate, such as receiving help from the healthcare system or hoping that the person being cared for cooperates more. Still, the outcomes do not depend on oneself.

Another reason that may explain the emergence of impatience is the difficulty in accepting the current situation. For example, witnessing the impacts of the illness on the person being cared for, having conversations with them that are no longer as deep, the person being cared for who can no longer do as many things or has a slower life pace than we would like. Faced with the challenging aspect of reality, resistance appears in the form of impatience.

Another cause could be the fact that the caregiver has less time to recharge their own batteries and therefore is simply less available and tolerant to anything that requires their attention. It can be easy to stop addressing one's own needs when we start taking care of someone. If we are not aware of it, signs like impatience can appear as an indicator of an unmet need of the caregiver, such as sleep, social life, the need for connection, etc.

Regarding the consequences associated with impatience, as mentioned earlier, it is likely that the person also experiences frustrations related to unmet expectations. Anger informs us about an expectation that has not been met. In the long term, if impatience is not recognized, it is very likely that the level of tolerance decreases in other areas of our life. That being said, this state of dissatisfaction can lead us to make impulsive actions, such as getting upset in a queue, feeling irritated by someone speaking a bit too loudly, or getting angry with our friend who asks us to repeat.