How to develop emotional intelligence

Fortunately, emotional intelligence is a type of intelligence that can be developed, meaning we can nurture its growth. Each individual can practice strategies if they aspire to become more emotionally intelligent. Here we summarize three ways that you can put forward to help you develop your emotional intelligence. This is a brief summary; we therefore encourage you to consult a counselor if you wish to explore which methods might be most helpful for you to develop your emotional intelligence and live your caregiving experience more harmoniously.

1. Develop self-awareness:

First, we encourage you to observe what is happening inside you, without judgment, to have a better awareness of yourself. Better understanding what we feel allows us to choose our behaviors, rather than letting our emotions guide us. If we take the example of anxiety, it is possible to perceive its signs such as physical sensations (nervousness, restlessness, palpitations, lump in the throat, etc.). It is also useful to identify the situations and thoughts that trigger this anxiety to better know and identify the elements that set it off. Then, we invite you to think about strategies you can implement when you identify the early signs of an emotion, to prevent a crisis from arising. With better self-awareness, we can develop new reactions to sensations that might otherwise take control over us.

2. Critical attitude towards oneself:

Here, we encourage you to avoid the trap of thoughts, as our mind sometimes plays tricks on us. Indeed, we tend to believe everything it tells us, as if our thoughts were true 100% of the time. When we let a concern manifest repeatedly without questioning it, its persuasive power increases. It is important to remember that thoughts are just thoughts, they are not facts. If not challenged, thoughts have the power to feed our emotions. For example, imagine that your loved one went for their daily walk and has not returned at the usual time. You might immediately think the person got lost or conclude they had a medical issue. These thoughts could cause a surge of emotions. However, the truth is you do not know the reason for their delay (your loved one may have decided to stop at the grocery store, which would explain the slight delay). It can also be helpful to ask yourself - is it really useful to dwell on these thoughts? By placing a thought in front of the intrusive thoughts, as we would with a shield, we activate the inhibitory circuit of the anxiety circuit. 

3. Avoid acting impulsively when an emotion emerges:

Finally, when we experience an emotion, it is normal to feel compelled to act. However, as the saying goes, "it's better to think before acting than to regret after acting," it is recommended to let the wave of emotion pass and not give in to impulsivity, as we risk regretting it and blaming ourselves, which can create a sense of guilt.