Anger: a healthy and normal emotion

Anger is one of the six universal emotions, including joy, fear, disgust, surprise, and sadness. Each emotion has a different emotional tone. For example, for most people, joy is experienced as pleasant and anger as unpleasant.

Considering that anger is part of a negative spectrum, it is often confused with other negative states, particularly with hatred, even though they are different. It is therefore very interesting to be able to distinguish them. Let's recall that anger is an emotion, meaning it is experienced as a sudden reaction felt in the body, possibly in the form of muscle tension. It arises when the body and mind are affected following a hurtful, painful, or threatening situation. The energy of anger can become a driving force for change. From a different perspective, hatred feeds on fantasies and seeks to designate an enemy. It involves denying the existence, freedom, and rights of others. Its nature is destructive and therefore does not have constructive potential (p. 33 – The Face of Our Anger - Sophie Galabru).

In the same vein, it's important to separate the emotion of anger from impulsive actions that follow. When it appears, it generates an intense state of tension which pushes us to act harmfully. It may then be tempting to associate the emotion of anger with its negative impact because harmful action quickly follows anger. Yet, anger itself isn't negative; it is an emotion like any other, having a specific and different impact from other emotions. It is very common to hear that anger is bad and should be avoided. This perspective leaves us in a state of helplessness because it's impossible not to feel anger. It is, however, a very healthy and normal emotion.

The good news is that we have control over the reaction that will follow the emergence of anger. This is a very important distinction to consider in the learning process of healthy anger management. Here is a diagram that clearly illustrates the creation of emotions and their journey.

Here is a diagram that clearly illustrates the creation of emotions and their journey: 

To clearly illustrate this emotional journey, here is an example in a caregiving context:  

• O (occasion): The person being cared for hasn't taken their medication 

• I (ideas): I tell myself that the person doesn't want to help themselves OR I tell myself it's not fair that the person can no longer take their medication themselves

• E (emotions): I feel anger towards the person being cared for OR I feel anger towards the illness situation 

• B (behaviors): I raise my voice to reproach my loved one OR I bottle up the anger and direct it towards myself because I don't know who else to address

• C (consequences): The person feels sadness and misunderstanding OR I withdraw into myself and criticize myself 

The example below demonstrates that anger can be directed at others, oneself, or a more diffuse target. When we take the time to break down the emotion process, we can see that anger is not bad in itself; it's the action that follows that matters, as that's where we have control. Choices are available to us when anger appears, even if they seem barely noticeable when the emotion is intense. The next section will offer ways to reduce impulsivity that generally follows anger and negatively impacts our relationships. There is also the possibility of using anger as a healthy indicator that informs us of something about ourselves: perhaps a value that hasn't been respected, a right that has been violated, or our energy level being very low, etc. If you are interested in delving deeper into this reflection, we invite you to contact a GASO counselor.

If you are interested in delving deeper into this reflection, we invite you to contact a GASO counselor.

To do so, you can call 514-564-3061 or email us at info@gaso.ca