Facing One's Own Limits with Odette

"Being a caregiver revealed to me that, even though I cared deeply about my mother's well-being, it wasn't enough, because there was also dementia, and this illness requires external support." Odette, caregiver for her mother until her passing: Fall 2023

At 53, Odette made the decision to become a full-time caregiver to look after her mother who was losing her independence, and who unfortunately passed away recently. As she reflects on her experiences as a former caregiver, Odette highlights the limitations caregivers may face in their journey, despite the profound love for the person they care for.

Odette grew up in Saint-Michel, in a challenging family environment: she, her sister, and her mother had to deal with her father's issues with alcoholism and violence. Throughout her life, Odette has always attended to her mother's well-being in various ways. Her mother's happiness has always been of great importance to Odette, believing she deserved to be pampered in light of the life obstacles she faced.

"My father passed away in 2011, my mother was 86 at the time, very independent, but starting to have needs. In 2016, my sister got a job in Nova Scotia. My mother was 90 and I was looking for a job. My mother clearly expressed her refusal to go into a residence. Having raised a child and worked full-time simultaneously, I did not want to relive that stress at 53. So I offered to take care of my mother full-time. That's when I became a full-time caregiver. Even though the journey was very difficult with dementia, I am very proud and happy to have accompanied my dear Mamie until her last breath, even though I miss her dearly.

Being a caregiver taught me I cared deeply about my mother's well-being, as if it were a calling, but that this calling was not enough, because there was also dementia, and this illness brings much sorrow to those around. First, my self-esteem took quite a hit, and secondly, it felt like I was managing a business with all the varied needs.

I was isolated and alone almost the entire time as a caregiver, because I stopped working to attend to my mother's growing needs. I was lucky to be referred to GASO, and it was during group meetings and individual sessions that I learned a great deal about caregiving and dementia that I did not know at all. It's thanks to GASO that I can talk about it today; they literally saved my life.

The government, municipalities, and CLSCs should make an effort to inform about the resources available because many people aren't aware that this help exists, as I was before. It's very unfortunate that there are not services like GASO available everywhere. I hope this changes, as the number of caregivers continues to increase and it's a societal need that must be addressed.

A big thank you to GASO, with a special mention to Stéphanie, my counselor."