Impacts and challenges of a romantic relationship in the context of caregiving

Possible impacts on the original relationship

Following the announcement of a diagnosis or the onset of loss of autonomy, the life partner often becomes the primary caregiver. But how can this new role impact the original relationship?

This can lead to significant changes in various aspects of the couple’s relationship. The person providing help takes on a different role with their partner, essentially becoming their caregiver by assisting with dressing, feeding, managing medication intake, providing care, etc.

Furthermore, illness and loss of autonomy impact the couple’s routine and daily life, including dining out, social activities, travel opportunities, and more. The responsibilities of the close caregiver increase, and there may be a reversal of roles, requiring one to take on roles or make decisions previously handled by the other, such as managing finances, meal planning, etc. In some cases, the extent of daily tasks becomes a very heavy burden, potentially leading to separation or divorce. Illness or loss of autonomy can also affect a couple’s sexuality. Indeed, certain illnesses, like neurocognitive disorders, can increase or decrease sexual interest, which may cause friction in the relationship.

Possible challenges in the relationship

Staying in love despite the caregiving context can present several challenges.

Among these is maintaining personal balance: being a caregiver for a spouse causes stress, especially if this role is long-standing. Support can be physical, psychological, emotional, or financial, and maintaining a balance between the needs of the person being cared for and one’s own support needs can be challenging. Another challenge is providing support to the loved one: as the illness progresses and needs increase, you may be more solicited. Setting boundaries in response to the cared-for person's requests can be difficult, and one might feel guilty about needing external support. Maintaining good communication with a spouse is also challenging when there is a presence of loss of autonomy or illness. These can cause disagreements and conflicts about lifestyle changes, decisions to undergo certain treatments, etc. Finally, staying satisfied with one’s marital and sexual life can be another challenge in the context of caregiving. Marital stress related to the progression of illness and losses can impact marital satisfaction, sexual life, intimacy, and communication. Marital conflicts, adaptation difficulties, and mourning shared plans can have consequences on marital and sexual satisfaction.

Sources

Alzheimer Society

Lemelin and Pelletier (2020). Staying in love despite the caregiving context