Staying in the Relationship: A Variety of Reasons Behind This Choice

There are several reasons why a spouse might stay in a relationship to care for a loved one who is losing autonomy or is ill. Here are a few frequently heard through GASO services:

Out of obligation or duty

For many people, the bonds of marriage obligate a spouse to be there for the other and help “for better or for worse.” Overlooking this value is simply not conceivable, due to the bond that marriage creates or for religious reasons.

Following a deeply connected romantic relationship where one cannot envision living without the other

When the bond of love is very strong, a spouse may choose to help the other with this internal motivation that can empower them to see beyond the illness, by recalling the love they share. This motive can often offer a sense of recognition in the new role, if the partner continues to provide affection in a similar way as before.

Due to financial circumstances

It often happens that one of the spouses might not be able to meet their basic needs if they wish to leave the other for any reason. This motive is more often noticed among older couples, where the traditional roles of men and women have resulted in significant financial insecurity for women, hindering their autonomy.

Due to dependency on the responsibilities the other spouse used to fulfill

The traditional roles of men and women sometimes lead spouses to stay in the relationship because of tasks they have never done, which are difficult to learn today, or because they don't have the energy to learn them now.

Because there is a feeling of owing it to be there

If one spouse has experienced a difficult time in the past and their partner helped them recover, they may feel obligated to do the same for the other, even if the situation is different and may have varying impacts on their physical or mental energy.

Because one does not want to live alone

Another often-heard point is related to the fear of having to learn to live alone after being with a partner for a long time. Living alone requires adaptation and refocusing our attention on ourselves, even if we have never thought about what we like to do for leisure and self-care.