Valérie Hébert, caregiver for her father and member of GASO

Valérie is the primary caregiver for her father who is affected by Parkinson's. Valérie is a social worker in the healthcare system and shares that this can be an advantage, considering she knows how to navigate it.

Valérie explains to us that caregiving is part of her life, especially through the difficulty of witnessing her parent's health deteriorating. Valérie tells us that another challenge added to her caregiving journey is being the only person taking care of him. Valérie tells us that she made the decision to place her father in an assisted living facility and a strong sense of guilt followed. Ultimately, she realized that the residence did not meet her father's needs, so she decided to put her father's name on the waiting list for a long-term care center.

We asked Valérie what tools helped her better navigate the more difficult moments, and she responded that learning to set her boundaries, with the help of a psychosocial worker from GASO, was one such tool. In this learning journey, she mentions developing the ability to clearly distinguish what belongs to each of her roles, specifically by putting on her social worker hat when at work and her daughter hat when she is with her father. Through participation in support groups, Valérie says she learned that it is better to gradually get involved in caregiving and then adjust, rather than giving everything from the start, because it is more difficult to withdraw from commitments already begun.

Valérie shared with us some examples of lessons she has learned from her caregiving journey, including discerning what constitutes an emergency. She learned that it is not selfish to take care of herself and that it is even beneficial for her relationship with the cared-for person, as she is more present and patient. She mentions that relaxation workshops have been helpful in encouraging her to consider the future through more than just worst-case scenarios. Valérie shares that she is committed to giving back to her father what he has offered her throughout her life, but without losing herself in the process.

Valérie's advice is this: Take care of yourself, genuinely, it’s important. A first step could be to participate in workshops offered by the Groupe des aidants du Sud-Ouest.