A definition of post-assistance

Mourning is often characterized by the loss of a loved one with whom we had a relationship that leads us to experience painful and sometimes even contradictory emotions following the person's death. It's often normal to feel great sorrow, anger, relief, and guilt in the face of mourning, depending on the circumstances.

Mourning in post-aidance is distinct from typical mourning because, in addition to the primary relationship with the deceased, there was also a caregiving relationship that had formed and often overshadowed the primary relationship we had with our loved one. GASO has even developed its own definition of post-aidance:

"Post-aidance" refers to the period during which a caregiver experiences mourning characterized by caregiving. Mourning in post-aidance differs from other types of mourning, notably because of the emotional bond shared with the deceased, the loss of identity of the caregiver, and the transition following the loss of the caregiving role.

This definition belongs to the Southwest Caregivers Group. Our definition of post-aidance was added to the organization's bylaws during the annual general meeting on November 2, 2021.

It often happens that a bereaved caregiver faces more challenges during mourning due to this particular relationship that developed over some time. Indeed, the caregiver often has to set aside multiple aspects of their life, such as work, friends, travel, studies, family... to care for the person. The caregiver, now a former caregiver, can experience significant imbalance during mourning when caregiving is no longer the central part of their life, and they realize what they set aside to help their loved one. They may also experience feelings of uselessness when they felt useful in caregiving by providing certain care and may experience isolation if their social or family network was neglected. We will also look at the challenges that post-aidance mourning poses compared to mourning a relationship where there was no caregiving relationship.