Challenges related to post-support

Some very specific challenges related to caregiving situations may arise for caregivers dealing with bereavement. We will look at a few examples together.

The difficulty of resuming life before the caregiving period

It can be difficult for former caregivers to resume their lives as they were before caregiving, particularly due to the isolation that caregiving may create: caregivers often have to choose between their personal lives and their responsibilities as caregivers to fulfill their role. Often, it is the personal aspects of a caregiver's life that are first set aside, such as social life, traveling, and work. Cutting off one of these spheres can lead to a loss of identity, which a grieving former caregiver may find challenging to rediscover after caregiving.

A difficult guilt to dissipate

The feeling of guilt can be experienced on several levels; it may arise in relation to the circumstances of the death - one might feel guilty that it happened to the other and not to oneself - or this feeling may manifest regarding the role of caregiving that was undertaken. Our tendency to see the "negative" over all the good care we provided to our loved one can cloud our grief journey. It is important to give ourselves permission to accept that we could not have acted differently given the resources available and to forgive ourselves, which can be a difficult process for many.

The difficulty of managing administrative tasks related to the death of the cared person

A former caregiver faces several griefs in addition to the primary loss of the deceased individual: griefs related to the caregiving role, loss of identity, and more. These circumstances require the former caregiver to invest significant time and energy to slowly navigate through a unique grief. The administrative burden related to the death of the person cared for can thus disrupt the former caregiver and leave very little time to process the events that have just occurred.

Bereavement can reveal tensions within the family or a couple

Caregiving can shake a relationship within a family or a couple on different levels. Indeed, the choices that the caregiver makes may sometimes be at odds with the opinions of a family member or partner. Caregiving can also bring past tensions to the surface, and these may leave a bitter taste even after the death of the cared person.

Living with a fragile physical and/or mental balance:

Finally, we must not forget another major challenge of post-caregiving, which is the physical and/or mental health issues that the caregiving role may have caused over time. Many caregivers bear the consequences for a long time, sometimes requiring more time to integrate the grief before being able to return to more regular activities in daily life.[1]

[1] https://www.avecnosproches.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Rapport-barometre-des-anciens-aidants.pdf pages 37-38