Challenges of Asking for Help for Men

Men seek medical consultations and social service resources less often than women. But why is that? According to a survey conducted in 2015 by Gilles Tremblay, PhD, the majority prefer to solve their problems on their own, choose not to talk about them, or hesitate to ask for help even if they know it would help them. Others state that their pride 'takes a hit' when they have to ask for help, and some have no idea what assistance might be available to them.

Additionally, asking for help is a complex process for some men. The process is divided into three steps:

Perceiving the problem (I identify a problem) Deciding after perceiving the problem (I decide to talk about it) The resulting action (I use the available resources).

The first step, which is merely perceiving a problem, can be difficult for a man because the very idea of having a problem goes against traditional male roles. Therefore, asking for help may be perceived as a sign of weakness.

The demands of asking for help can also conflict with the demands of traditional masculinity. As demonstrated in the following table, seeking help requires exposing one's private life, showing weakness, being vulnerable, introspective, confronting one’s pains, admitting failures, etc. These demands can be difficult to overcome when men have been socialized to hide their private lives, present themselves as strong, invincible, persistent, to be action-oriented, and to deny pain and suffering.